Johnny
28About Me
Just a (definitely not gay!) regular guy who watches the game, grills on weekends, and definitely doesn't moisturize. Looking for bros who want to learn the art of blending in.
Definitely Straight!
- Has a firm handshake (verified by 3 bros)
- Owns multiple pairs of cargo shorts
- Can name at least 2 football teams
- Has never once used the word "fabulous"
- Grill marks are always at 45 degrees
- Refers to all beverages as "cold ones"
- Has strong opinions about lawn care
Upcoming Event
Straight Act Survival Convention
When
April 10-12, 2026
Thursday - Saturday
Where
The George Washington University
Washington, DC 20052
Who
Open to Men 18+
Limited spots available
More Photos
Skill Compatibility
96% MatchScenario Matches
Situations you'll be ready for
The Tailgate
Wings, beer, yelling at refs
Guys' Night
Poker, one emotion allowed
The Cookout
Unsolicited steak opinions
Office Happy Hour
Sports talk, firm handshakes
Home Depot Run
Ask zero employees for help
What You'll Learn
Small Talk Starters That Work Every Time
Talking About Sports (Without Knowing the Score)
Complimenting Guys (The Straight Way)
How to Talk About Women Convincingly
The Locker Room Playbook
Body Language & Mannerisms
The Voice & Tone Edit
Weekend Plans That Sound Masculine
Red Flag Radar: What Gives You Away
Messages from Past Attendees
I used to panic at tailgates. Now I just nod and say 'that ref is blind.' Nobody suspects a thing.
The cargo shorts module alone was worth the price of admission.
I successfully talked about the game for 45 minutes. I don't even know which game.
It's a Match!
You and the Straight Act Survival Convention have liked each other.
simp2pimp.life
Open to men 18+ who want to fit in, stand tall & stay true to themselves.
This convention is not affiliated with or endorsed by any professional organization.